Ain’t Life a Kick In the Teeth? (Literally)

So, the other day at work I was finishing lunch and I bit down on a cookie and felt part of one of my teeth come off. I made an emergency trip to a nearby dentist, who confirmed that the tooth is beyond saving. I want to go to my grave with a full complement of teeth, so I’m going for a dental implant beginning nest week. The problem, of course, is that my insurance doesn’t cover the procedure, meaning I have to go even deeper into debt just to maintain my full number of teeth. I hope my new job’s health care benefit is able to reimburse me for the cost because I really can’t afford more debt added onto what I already have.

On the other hand, I’m about done with Week Two at my new position and so far things are going well. This afternoon I got to photograph a graduation event for the culinary program that operates through where I work, putting my skills to good use. So in addition to grant writing and research, maybe they can make use of my photographic talents. Just need to see how they like the work I’ve done.

Full Circle

It’s funny sometimes how life works out. Ten years ago I was working as an AmeriCorps VISTA with a local non-profit, and now I find myself back doing it again with another organization. I’ll be researching and writing grants primarily starting tomorrow.

I can’t say I’m not nervous about this. It’s another new start and that’s always somewhat daunting at the beginning, but that’s just another breaking-in period to experience, and I find I’m up to the challenge. I’ll also be going through some other transitions as this strange journey called life takes me on yet more turns both expected and unexpected, and I’ll blog about those later. But for now, another new chapter in my life is opening.

Wish me luck!

The facts about people

Two Rooms Plus Utilities

It still feels like every day is 10 hours too short and that I am no sooner out of my bed and I’m back there again. It has been such a strange week for me as Laura, my main carer, has been on holiday and I have had the joy of trying to get along with a complete stranger again. It could have been worse, as they wanted to send me not one new person but two, as Maureen, Laura’s replacement, couldn’t cover all the days. I quite simply couldn’t face that. The stress of one stranger had been more than enough, and I couldn’t face the idea of yet another one so soon. I know that to some that simply doesn’t make any sense. What could possibly be so difficult about having another person here to look after me, especially when there were several days separating them? For me…

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Blood Ties

BeautyBeyondBones

I had an experience the other day that really stuck with me: an encounter that stayed in my soul.

Ever since my mom’s stroke, I feel like people can sense something different about me. It’s like, I’m walking around with this neon sign that says, Tell me your secrets, my life is in shambles!

Something like that.

Or I’m just super non-threatening.

Like your anti-Regina George. More of an Anne of Green Gables type.


Either that or Mary Katherine Gallagher.


But however I read, I just feel like people — strangers — have been really open with me.

Like the other day…

If there’s one thing that’s true, it’s that I hate going to the doctor. And I know, the irony isn’t lost on me, because wouldn’t you know…my sibling is a doctor.

So this was the first I’d been to the doctor in, oh….five years or so. I…

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Permission to Let Go

BeautyBeyondBones

Well, I just finished my book.

I’ll hold for applause.

Juuuuuust kidding. 🙂 Although, it is exciting, and I did a little happy dance last night to some Broadway show tunes to commemorate the occasion.

giphy

But it’s been really interesting to have to go back. To put myself back in that place, ten years ago, when I was going to inpatient for my anorexia. Which, wouldn’t you know, upon my entrance, I was in denial that I even had an eating disorder at all, and was adamant that I wasn’tanorexic.

And as I’ve been writing, I’ve realized just how much I am not that girl anymore. I can barely even recognize myself. And I’m not just talking about the glaringly obvious physical transformation. The truth is, I barely recognize my heart.

But it’s been really powerful – and monstrously difficult – to mentally go back and…

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